Missing You Kuttans!

Sleep my beautiful father! We will be together when my time is up!You gave me everything in life that I could dream of and more...I just had to ask you and like a magician bringing out the rabbits and doves out of his hat,you would do so... I remember very fondly when I was terribly ill as a child and admitted in the hospital for nearly a month, you would come by every evening to visit me after work and I would eagerly await you just to run into your arms and show you off to the other children in the same ward.
 I would have a new demand everyday-this particular day that I fondly remember is that the girl beside my bed had this beautiful ,gorgeous doll in a turquoise dress almost like a belly dancer bejeweled with sequins...I don't remember what, but I wanted the same! She also got some lovely whole chicken that was roasted or grilled, I was too young to know the differnce and the waft of that made me so envious of her...and I wanted that as well and guess what, you did buy me a doll not as expensive as hers and you did get me a lot of grilled chicken and we sat together chomping and licking our fingers enjoying that chicken :)

I was so elated, I didn't care if the doll didn't look like the girl's doll, but the fact that you, my hero bought me what I asked for was all that mattered to a ten year old like me at that point in time!
You were truly the wings beneath my wings...

This picture was taken soon after my father's passing as he was so far away from us, a cousin took this on his cell phone and emailed us. We were forced to wait for my father's body to arrive as there were too many procedures and paperwork to be signed at the place he died.
The body that arrived didn't resemble my father...SOB :( my father looked as green as HULK! it had to be embalmed.
 My brother said he did see his soft, pink fingers and Pa's arm went over his head (just like how it used to whenever he watched TV) as they dressed my handsome father before the funeral...

I will always miss you Pa!

Musings

My first posting on my new blog in which I behave as Me and not the Chef in me. KunjuKuttans has been coined using the first half of my late parents' adorable names.

And what better day to launch it than the one year anniversary of the day my father was put on a ventilator and that marked the culmination of  my beautiful childhood. Within five days he passed on...

Been tossing and turning all night long and can actually feel their presence by my side. Time should heal...Time is taking time to do so :) or I guess I am not cooperating as I want to cling on...

Not a day goes by, this may all sound so abstract but if you had the kind of childhood I had, you would comprehend the intensity of this loss!

My mother-in-law who is in her mid seventies and quite ill with Parkinsons, often tells me whenever we have our moments to chitchat, that she still feels her parents' presence and she would sing their praises to me...so, it's not unique, there are people like her as well who think about such losses and continue to grieve!

Sombody asked me to pray for my father's soul and to let go...weird I thought to myself, a non-believer such as I pray!!! What words would comfort me in prayer and to whom or what?

And there are so many people already praying for this or that, two ears are not enough to hear the umpteenth prayer request echoing throughout the world.

My mother had a great deal of Will power and my father was very often the Way and guiding light for us, thus the birth of "The Will and The Way" came into existence today!

I rest my case!